User Profile

I was born in Scarborough, Ontario, a suburb of Toronto. I lived with my mom and dad until they got divorced when I was three. My mom, my younger sister and I moved into my grandparents house. We all lived there until my mom met a man named Mark. My mom, my sister and I moved in with him for a short period of time. During this time, my mom had to hire babysitters as she no longer had the luxury of live in baby sitters in my grandparents. That did not go well.

For whatever reason, we decided to all move back in with my grandparents, and shortly there after, my mom and Mark broke up.

Next up was this man named Giles which will always later on be referred to as "GD." GD moved in with us at my grandparents, and quickly proposed to my mom. She accepted and they were married in December at my grandparents house.

Shortly after that, my mom found out that she was pregnant, but unfortunately, she had a miscarriage. We, then moved into our own house, the four of us. We "started a new life." I went to a new school where I was not allowed to tell anyone that GD was not my real dad. My sister and I even had our last names changed to coincide with my mom and GD.

Things were going fine until one day GD snapped. I guess he was stressed out about being laid off, or money or something. I thought that for sure the three of us would be moving back into my grandparents. I was wrong.

They had a very rocky marriage, with many ups and downs. As a child, I didn't really understand everything that was happening, but I was happy at my new school. I had lots of friends.

I guess financially we suffered some down falls because eventually we had to move to a smaller house, a townhouse, down the street. I was able to go to the same school though.

I did well in school, always good marks, always teachers raving. I liked school, and I read alot. Never really watched much tv unless I was at my grandparents house or my dad's house. (My sister and I went to my dad's house every other weekend.) Overall, I'd say I was content with things. Minus a few issues.

When I was nearing highschool, my parents decided to move back into my grandparents house to save money. So, once again we packed up and moved back in with my grandparents. We lived there for about a year, my first year of highschool. We had to lie to the school and use a different address in order to go to the school that all my friends were going to. After school I would go the community center gym for a few hours until my mom could pick me up and take me home. That's where I met Ian. Ian and I dated for two years, grade nine to grade eleven.

On August 29, just before my grade ten year we bought an amazing house in the area of my school. I loved the house. It was big and pretty and it was perfectly located. I LOVED it.

I continued my high school life, which included the typical boy drama, and girl drama and school work drama. I got a job at McDonald's, and I stopped going to the gym. Instead, I played girls soft ball, and tennis. I had three best friends and we were inseperable. Ian and I broke up for good, and I started dated Joe. Joe was in OAC (last year of highschool) and I was in grade 11. It was a status thing.

I was very happy at school, but I hated my step father more and more everyday. It sucks that when you get home from school you have to put a baggy shirt or sweater on just so his gaze wouldn't make me uncomfortable. It sucks that I could never walk up the stairs in front of him. It sucks that when I heard a crashing noise from the basement, that it was the dog that fell, and not him.

My mom left him when I was in grade eleven. The three of us packed up and moved back in with my grandparents. I spent alot of time at work and with my friends.

During that summer (summer between grade eleven and twelve) my mom, my sister and my friends had such a great time. We rented a cottage and partied alot. I had the best summer of my life.

My mom had started to talk to Mark again, so we all spent alot of time up at his house, in the middle of nowhere, camping and partying......it was great.

Then September came, and my mom moved us to Hamilton. I knew it was coming, but I didn't want it to. New school, new city, new life. We moved into my mom's cousin's basement. Just the three of us.

My mom was dating.

School was hard. I was behind academically, and socially. In grade twelve, all of the groups are decided and very tight. Can't get in. I didn't want to get in. I got two jobs, Jumbo Video and Little Caesars Pizza. I didn't go to school much. I slept alot. I drove back to see my friends alot. I missed my old life. I was so unhappy.

During this time, there were events and things that to this day I have no recollection of. My family will tell me about a time, or show me pictures from this period of time and I have ZERO memory of. We all now refer to this period of time as my "Dark Days."

I stopped going to school completely and I lived on my mom's white couch. She was never there because she still had to work an hour away so she stayed at my grandparents often. I slept and I went to my part time jobs. That's it. That was my life.

We moved to Hamilton in September and I moved out in January. I moved in with my dad and my step mom. Terrible idea. It was fun at first, but they had way too many stupid rules such as "no sleep overs." Like ever. A 17 year old girl wants to sleep at her friends houses. So, I rebelled, skipped school, got caught shop lifting, experimented with drugs/alcohol alot....basically acted like every normal 17 year old teenager. My dad decided to kick me out, but instead of taking me back to my mom in Hamilton, I insisted that he drop me off at my friend Danielle's house. Well, he resisted at first, but my mom told him to just do what I want, and that I won't last out there. She said, "Valene will be home with my within two weeks. She can't make it out there on her own."

Well, just for the record, I have never returned "home." Ever since that day that my dad dropped me off at Danielle's I have been making it on my own. At first I stayed at Danielle's, then after a few weeks her mother politely asked me to start looking for something more permanent. I decided to stay with my current boyfriend Jay's family. They opened up their home to me, and I liked living there. It didn't last too long though as I fell for his best friend, Chris.

I had a big falling out with my friends, and I broke up with Jay and I moved in with Chris. He lived in the basement of his parents house, which will be known as "the dungeon" from here forward.

I lived in the dungeon with Chris for two years. I went back and finished school, and worked part time as a waitress. Chris worked sometimes here and sometimes there. Mostly, he just sold drugs. He forced me to take drugs, and I was hooked before too long. I was able to get a job at a car dealership full time, but I backed out at the last minute when the job at the City came along. I started as a student, then was changed to a temp, then I applied for a full time position and got it! Very exciting at the time. I was 19 years old and I work full time for the City of Toronto.

I was still living in the dungeon, doing drugs every moment that I wasn't at work, always broke and unhappy. Chris was abusive in every way, and most days I just wanted to die. I wish I would have left him, but he tore me down as a person. I was not a person, I was not worthy of anything from anyone. I felt like garbage, and I felt invisible. One day, he beat me up and kicked me out with all of my things in garbage bags.

It took a long time for me to get over the things that he put me through. In some way, I will never get over it. I will probably carry it with me for the rest of my life. At least I learned from it, and I will be able to spot the behaviour in other people sooner.

I quit doing drugs very abruptly when I was 21. I was moving around from place to place, the only common factor was my job. I went to the same job everyday, Monday to Friday. I started working part time on top of that too. In fact, I worked 7 days a week for a long time. Finally making some good money.

I got hooked up with another loser boyfriend, Dave. He used me emotionally and monetarily. (is that even a word?!) He took all my money, and cheated on me constantly, right in my face. I was stupid again and stayed for too long. At least this one didn't hit me.

I finally smartened up and left him just when he needed me the most. Karma's a funny thing.

At this point in my life, I was dating, having fun and working. I worked always at the City, and I even picked up waitressing again for a short time. I had alot of fun during this time of my life, and I feel like I really got to experience that free single girl lifestyle.

I then met Quinton ("Q") and the rest is history. We have been together for nearly three years now. We moved in together after dating for just over a year. Marriage is in the future, if we can ever get out of debt!

So, that's my life story. I know its long, but that's how I tell stories. Lots of detail. Thanks for taking the time to read it..........

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